Don’t Try, Be

Recently, I was listening to an interview between two comedians on the Pete Holmes podcast. They talked about how “trying to be funny” is not funny. When going on stage, just be yourself. Just be Pete Holmes. Pete Holmes is funny.

What a good lesson.

So often, I see others including myself “trying to do a good job.” It could be leading a mindfulness or circling session. It could be trying to lead a team. But, the “trying” feels bad for everyone.

The trying conveys nervousness, discomfort. When the leader is “trying” then nobody feels safe, it’s clear the leader does not know what he is doing AND he’s not confident in navigating this unknown.

By the time we are at the execution phase, once we’re “on stage”, it’s too late to try anymore. The time for training and practice is before the big event. You don’t want to be practicing during the match. Now, it’s time to surrender, to let go, to trust, to manifest.

Sometimes, people say I’m a good communicator or teacher or facilitator. I know I have a lot of weaknesses: I tend to mumble my words when I’m unsure. I tend to focus too much on others.

Yet, one thing I don’t have much trouble with is just letting things happen and give the impression of being in control. Everyone feels safe and willing to go along with things if it feels like the leader is in control.

Before the big event, before the big presentation, it’s time to let go. All the training and preparation had to happen beforehand. No longer try to be good, just be yourself. “Trying” in the moment won’t make you any better, trying will only make it worse.