True Love Leaves No One Behind

Sometimes, I get angry at people. Sometimes, I watch other people getting angry at others. Sometimes, people get angry at me and share this with me.

Each time, there is this sense that this person I’m angry about is bad. I shouldn’t have to be in this relationship. They should change or go away.

How convenient. This is conditional love based on feeling comfortable and pleasant with others.

If we truly loved someone then we wouldn’t end the connection just because they did something we dislike or we consider wrong. In true love, we stay in the connection. Even if that means cutting off ties with the person, it’s done from a place of awareness and seeing the person rather than reactivity and turning away. It’s possible to care for someone and end contact with them because it’s what’s best for both of you.

A good parent doesn’t stop taking care of their child when it becomes uncomfortable. Even when there’s exhaustion and frustration. Likewise, a good pet owner doesn’t stop taking care of their pet just because it’s the middle of the night. A good friend doesn’t stop being there just because it’s uncomfortable.

So, if I lose that sense of care and love for someone, I know that I’m in deluded and in reactivity to some degree. I’m attached to myself. I’m attached to not feeling uncomfortable, to not seeing my values and beliefs challenged.

Of course, there are extremes. No one deserves to have violence upon them. No one should stay in a relationship with an abusive partner or where it’s bad for both people in the long run. But, we already know that. The question is those tiny little things we do to each other and how we relate to each other.

If we truly loved someone then we would tell them the impact they are having on us when they do something we dislike or disagree with. But, all too often, we simply don’t say anything because we don’t want to have a confrontation. And, so, that person loses out on valuable feedback, and we inhibit our own wisdom and love.

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